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The Pretzel Sisters (Mamie and Trixie)

Teenage Japanese Schoolgirl

The Pretzel
                    Sisters - Teenage Japanese Schoolgirl

Those who know me well, especially those I've worked with over the years, know I have certain code words I use. One of these is instead of porn I'll say "my beloved teenage Japanese schoolgirls", as in "yeah, I cleaned that virus off his laptop, but I told him to stop looking at my beloved teenage Japanese schoolgirls on company property."

As the lyrics indicate, though, the song's not really about porn or teenage Japanese schoolgirls. It's about love and relationships, a person dealing with his or her role in society and the pressures to conform, coming-of-age, the struggle of good against evil, and man's triumph over nature.

It's also about making chicks dress up in costumes for "kicks".... ;-)

For this song, Mamie wrote the lyrics and melody, and Trixie came up with and played all the music.

Teenage Japanese Schoolgirl <--Click here to listen

[And now, from the elegant Pump Room of the magnificent Palmer House,
high over Chicago, asking that musical question...]

You're my teenage Japanese schoolgirl fantasy
A pleated skirted vision of Heaven and Ecstasy
And with your knee socks and shiny shoes
There's just no way, baby, you can lose
You'll be my teenage Japanese schoolgirl fantasy

You're my saucy French maid that I like to call Mimi
And with your little white cap and apron you look so dreamy
And when your feather duster comes near
"Wee wee, monsieur" is all I wanna hear
You'll be my saucy French maid if that's not too unseemly
(Now get to work)

(I think you missed a spot over - here)
(Oh, don't go missing those corners either)
(No no, this isn't working out - go get my Swifter)

I know you're not a teenage Japanese schoolgirl
You're 45 years old, you're blonde, and you hail from Newark
But with a little more of this rice wine
I do believe we'll get along just fine
You'll be my teenage Japanese schoolgirl fantasy dream

(Now run along, you'll be late for class)
(You need to hit those books, young lady, if you know what I mean)
(Ah, arigatō!)
(Oh kimochi ii!)

[Cut it]